I Live and Am Alive

Teaching's been kind of hard lately - mostly because I don't feel much like putting more than ten hours in each day. And while I feel entirely confident about my teaching abilities, I recognize that my lessons could be a whole lot more exciting and engaging if I could just work really hard for a couple more hours everyday. But, I might go crazy then, so semi-boring it is!

It breaks my heart a little because when this unit started ("The Campaign Trail") I was full of project-based ideas that would require tons of work on my part, but an undoubtedly more meaningful unit for my daringly little 13 year olds. But, then my dad had major surgery and I drove back and forth to D.C. five times in a week and a half and I just couldn't stomach all those extra hours anymore. I just wanted to drink wine in the evening and feel soft while watching comedies and being cuddled.

Oh, and the chiller broke at school last week. I teach in a windowless second floor stale-aired box - the air of which maintain a balmy 85+ degrees for the majority of last week. Uh,you might not know this about me but I am a real bitch when I get hot. I slammed my first door on Thursday. I felt kind of bad about that. Trying to teach cranky, toasty 7th graders is like trying to cram toothpaste back into the tube - made even more impossible by a crushing sense of "who the hell cares! I am hot" overriding everything. I gave up that afternoon and read them a children's book. They curled up at my feet and almost looked cute.

We're in the throws of one of our toughest years together - there is just so much heaped onto our collective plate and we are constantly talking the other through one crisis or another. But, we've committed ourselves to having a life - to living and being alive...and that is what will keep us sane.

Oh, Thanks

Matt and I are dating again. We plan simple to elaborate outing and inings that, as we approach the end of our fifth year together (holy crap?!), keep us wanting to be with one another. I call it efforting. It involves lots of doting and smooching.

Last weekend we had a picnic on a beach and killed a million flies. On the drive out we listened to the brand new Weakerthans CD (which was doted on me) and attended to the multi-layered lyrics.

There is another song on there about his cat and hell if I can sing along without crying. I just trudge on through, feeling like Sinead O'Connor a la Nothing Compares video all the while. Seriously, if you can listen to this song without emoting you have no soul.

xo!
m