Meanie

The other day I told my work pal, Stephen, about my blog adding that I would no longer be able to “rip him a new one online” now that he knows about my internet self. He said he was curious to know why I would “rip him a knew one” - I told him I was only joking. To which he responded, “I bet you can be really mean.”

Can I? I mean, I guess we all “can.” Am I? I don't think I would ever be ballsy enough (or crass enough) to say hurtful things about people on my blog. (When I say people that doesn't include celebrities or people I don't “actually” know, or people who cheated on me – if those people are included, then I am an asshole.)

I guess I do kind of point out when people act stupid or boring or mean – but I do so in full awareness that I am capable of being all of those things, possibly all at the same time and while engaging in the act of mocking another for any of the aforementioned characteristics.

When I was eighteen and went to college leaving my seventeen year old boyfriend behind he told me that I look like a bitch when I don't smile, but told me I shouldn't go around smiling all the time because then guys would want to talk to me. I think I actually interpreted that as a compliment, like he wanted me all to himself or something. Blah.

Sometimes it can feel like armor - the fact that people occasionally find me intimidating, even menacing, all because I'm ugly when I frown. Honestly, inside of me is a person that really does strive to be good and to see the good in everyone. Even the people who rip me a new one online. (I love Chris Wolf.)